


In Sickness

by Annie_Eliza



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Anti-Michael, Grief/Mourning, Hospitals, M/M, Near Death Experiences, Season/Series 05, Shooting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-05
Updated: 2015-02-11
Packaged: 2018-03-10 14:30:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3293822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Annie_Eliza/pseuds/Annie_Eliza
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He gets the call on a Friday.</p><p> </p><p>Prompt by Lisa.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Wait

**Author's Note:**

> Lisa asked for a fic requesting a scene where another character gets called out on the crap they have done to Brian or Justin while one of them is in the hospital.

He gets the call on a Friday.

 

He’s just arrived at the airport so he can get on an eight hour flight just to fuck number 10 on the list. It was important before since he needed it to beat Brandon. The kid who thought he could take his place by getting sucked off on the dance floor, the fucker. But after Justin left him, he became a bit obsessed with it. He had tried to convince himself that it was for the best that he and Justin were over because this is who he is meant to be. Brian Fucking Kinney. Top stud of Liberty Avenue who fucks his way through gay Pittsburgh without any attachments. So he swallowed down the pain of his heart ripping in half when Justin backed his stupid duffle bag. It had hurt worse than when Justin had left him for the fiddler. At least then it had ended on bad terms and once the hurt feelings got out of the way and they started talking again they found their way back to each other. But this time Justin had hugged him before he left. It had felt so final. Brian had tried to pretend everything was fine. He tried to go out the door and go turn some tricks at Babylon. He didn’t even make it to the elevator before he turned around and went to bed where he clutched onto Justin’s pillow like a lesbianic moron. At least he didn’t cry. Much.

 

But fuck, he feels like crying now. He feels like his heart has been ripped out and thrown on the ground but it couldn’t have been because it starts beating so loudly in his chest and he’s holding his breath as he makes out Jennifer’s words through her sobs. Words like “Religious nut with a gun attacked us at a protest” and “Justin’s been shot” and “doesn’t look like he’s going to make it.” Brian finds himself running. He gets a taxi to the hospital because even though Justin’s going to be fine he has to see him anyway. 

 

He makes it to the hospital. He knows he looks like a mad man. He finds his friends sitting in the waiting room crying and clutching onto each other and he fears the worst. What if they had gotten bad news while he was on his way here? He starts shaking and gasping in breaths and he finds Jennifer.

 

“J-Jennifer? Is Just-“ Brian asks but breaks off as his face crumples. Jennifer comes up to him and places her hands on his arms.

 

“We haven’t heard anything else. As far as we know, he’s still alive. He’s in surgery and will be there for a while. The bullet at least grazed his heart and they’re trying to help him. His…his chances aren’t good though. But he’s still alive. We’re just all upset, worried, and shaken up. Brian? Oh…oh, honey…”

 

Brian feels Jennifer bring him into an embrace as he collapses onto her shoulder and weeps. He’s making these embarrassing high pitched keening noises that he doesn’t want anyone to hear but he can’t control them. Distantly, he feels Jennifer’s hand rubbing his back and hears her say, “Shhh, I know. I know it hurts. I know you’re scared. It’ll be alright. Just let it out.” And it does. It does fucking hurt. Nothing she can do or say will make him feel any better. Only one thing will. He needs to see Justin. But he can’t because he’s fighting for his life. Even though Justin left him, Brian still considers him his partner. Logically he knows that they aren’t together anymore but his feelings for Justin have never been logical. They always went against everything he stood for but he ended up acting on them anyway and all it managed to do was hurt him four times now. But he can’t lose him. Even if he would never get back with Justin ever again, he still can’t lose him. The thought of living in a world without Justin in it was absolutely unbearable. It was even worse now since he didn’t even have Mikey and Debbie had more or less taken her son’s side in the whole rift between them. The last few weeks had been really fucked up for him and this had probably been building up for a while because he can’t stop crying.

 

“Come on, Brian, let’s sit down. Come sit next to me and we’ll wait, okay?” 

 

Brian manages to nod and calm himself down enough to lift his head off of Jennifer’s shoulder. He can feel the gang’s eyes stare at him with pity and surprise, as though they are so fucking shocked that he’s fucked up over this but feel sorry for him anyway. Fuck them. He may have refused to enter Stepfordville but he made his feelings for Justin pretty fucking clear. He could admit out loud that he cared about him. He could show the gestures like having him move in with him and buying a plane ticket to L.A. to visit him. In his head, he could admit that he loved him. A lot. He had gotten to the point where he could admit to himself that he knew why his pulse quickened and why he got butterflies in his stomach whenever Justin walked into a room. He was in love. He knew that. He wouldn’t have let himself be heartbroken by Justin twice if he weren’t so fucking gone for the kid.

 

He knows how he feels and that’s enough for right now. So he ignores his friends. He ignores Ted and Emmett’s looks of concern and Mel’s shock and Michael pretending like he isn’t there while he walks away with Ben in tow from the waiting room.

 

“Was anyone else hurt?” Brian quietly asks Jennifer.

 

“Someone died on scene. Four others were injured. The shooter killed himself. Debbie got shot. Not badly. A bullet hit the edge of her arm. She’ll need some stitches but she’ll be alright. Michael came out to see if we heard anything and to get Ben.”

 

“And he left because of me,” Brian points out bitterly.

 

“Brian, no. I’m sure that isn’t it. He’s probably concerned about his mother.”

 

And yeah, he probably is. But it hurts that Michael still won’t speak to him now even when Brian is so fucking distraught.

 

They wait for a little while longer and why the fuck haven’t they heard anything? What surgery takes this long? Okay, he’s aware that a lot of them take several hours but it isn’t fair. It’s been a couple of hours since he arrived and he hasn’t heard shit.

 

“Brian?”

 

Brian looks up to see Ben standing over him.

 

“Debbie wants to see you. She’s going to be discharged soon but she wants to talk to you anyway.”

 

Brian doesn’t want to leave. The doctors could come out any time. But Debbie was the closest person he had to a mother and he wants to make sure she’s okay so he gets up.

 

“Which room?”

 

“107. Down that hall over there.”

 

Brian gets up and his legs feel so heavy as he walks. He makes it to room 107 and sees Debbie on the stretcher and Michael in a seat next to her. He walks in and Michael looks up and sees him.

 

“What are you doing here? It’s family only.”

 

Brian just stares at him.

 

“Michael Novotny! I know you two are on bad terms for whatever fucking reason but I asked Ben to bring him here.”

 

“When?”

 

“While you were in the bathroom. Give him a break, kid. Look at him. He’s a wreck over Justin.”

 

“Don’t excuse him for that! He isn’t even with Justin anymore!”

 

“That doesn’t mean he still doesn’t care.”

 

“All Brian cares about is himself. Justin deserves his real friends here, not the guy who constantly pushed him out of his life.”

 

Debbie is about to argue on Brian’s behalf again (which is a shocker right there) but Brian’s mouth opens before she has the chance.

 

“Real friends, Michael? Is that what you are to Justin? Does a real friend say that I should have left him there to die on the concrete floor just because he’s young and he screwed up by cheating on me? Does he still let people believe that I punched him for no reason at all? Is that what a real friend says and does? Not surprised if you do think that, considering you haven’t even shown one ounce of concern for me today even though the only man I have ever loved is probably going to die. Oh I forgot, you dumped me due to our differences in lifestyle so you don’t have to show concern for me anymore. I’m glad you weren’t hurt, Debbie. I really am. I’m so happy about that. But fuck you, Michael.”

 

Brian walks out of the room before he can be spoken to again. He can hear Debbie’s voice calling out for him and then yelling at Michael, “Did you really say that?! Is that why he hit you at Lindsay and Melanie’s party?! How could you say that about someone who had been through something so horrific?! How could you say that to the man who witnessed it?! Go fucking apologize to your oldest friend!”

 

“Ma, I already apologized to him about that!”

 

“Then go apologize to him for being such a little asshole!”

 

Oh hell no.

 

He walks quickly to the waiting room and is a few yards away from the seats when he feels Michael’s hand grab his arm. He can’t fucking deal with it right now so he might flip out a little.

 

“Don’t touch me! Let go of my arm and get your hands off me!” Brian shouts at him as he turns to push Michael away.

 

“Brian, look, I’m sorry.”

 

“Bullshit! You are only apologizing because your mommy told you to! I can’t fucking deal with this. I have too much to think about so just don’t push it right now! I am this fucking close to losing my shit, alright?”

 

He doesn’t expect what he just said to work with Michael because if Michael’s anything, he’s persistent. But for some reason it does. Maybe Michael is pitying him. Maybe he can see how much of a wreck Brian is. Maybe he just sees something in Brian that is about to snap since they have been friends for so long but he does end up backing off. 

 

“Okay, Brian. I really am sorry, okay? I am sorry you are going through this and I’m sorry for pushing you away this last month. Let me know when you are ready to talk.”

 

With that, Michael goes back to join his mother in her room. Brian lets out a shaky sigh and sits down by himself. He thinks his friends get the point but obviously one of them doesn’t.

 

“Hey, sweetie.”

 

He knows that Emmett calls everyone that but he thinks this is the first time he’s call Brian that. Jesus, he probably really does look pathetic.

 

“I just wanted to say that we’re here for you. Don’t pull away from us.”

 

“I’m not-“

 

“Brian, you are sitting on the other side of the waiting room. Come on. We need to face this as a team, alright? We care so much about both you and Justin. So let yourself lean on us.”

 

He actually follows Emmett back to where everyone else is and goes back to his seat by Jennifer. She gives him a watery smile and he takes her hand to give her some form of comfort. And then they wait.


	2. The Answer

Six hours.

 

It took six fucking hours before the doctor came out to the waiting room to see them. 

 

Every time a doctor or a nurse came out, one of them would jump up just in case it was about Justin. It never was until a woman name Dr. Lin came out and approached their group.

 

“Are you the family of Justin Taylor?”

 

Brian was up to his feet in a heartbeat and went over to the woman with Jennifer by his side. In his peripheral vision, he could see everyone else stand up too.

 

“Yes! Yes, we are. Please tell me how my son is,” Jennifer begged and the doctor took a breath.

 

“I’m not going to try to sugar coat anything. It was touch and go for a long time. He lost a lot of blood but he’s lucky the bullet hit the right side of his body. There’s less blood pressure on that side of the heart so he could have lost more and could have easily died before he was transported if he had been hit more directly on the left. I’m not sure if your son is extremely lucky or extremely unlucky. The bullet grazed the right ventricle but the damage was pretty minimal considering. It actually did more damage to his right lung. He’ll need to stay in the hospital for a while and have treatment for the damage. He will need to have regular checkups for a very long time so any indication of any residual side effects or damage can be caught. This can cause long term problems sometimes so he has to be careful until he is given an all clear. He cannot strain himself or get stressed out once he’s released. But it was a clean shot with a small bullet and it didn’t affect his spine. I am hesitantly going to say that he’s going to be okay.”

 

“Oh thank God! Oh thank you! Thank you so much, ma’am. I can’t tell you how grateful I am. Thank you, for saving my baby! Brian did you hear?” Jennifer blabbers as she reaches over to hold onto Brian’s shirt. Brian puts his arms around her and she cries into his chest.

 

Despite the good news, Jennifer is an emotional wreck so she isn’t capable of talking anymore so Brian takes over.

 

“When can we see him?”

 

“It’s the middle of the night. I should be telling you to wait until tomorrow but I’ve been in a similar situation with my brother. So I will make an exception. You can go one at a time once he gets a room in ICU. He won’t be up until at least tomorrow evening. We don’t want him to strain any of his injuries so we’re keeping him sedated. I am very glad that I could give you some good news.”

 

The doctor turns to leave and Brian finally risks looking at the rest of the group. Everyone is hugging, smiling, and crying. He usually doesn’t like emotional scenes like this but when Emmett and Ted hug him he surprises them and himself by returning the embrace. He manages to hold back the emotions that are overwhelming the rest of the gang. He already broke down once in front of them. He’ll wait until he’s alone before he lets the relief truly hit him.

 

“I’m going to go call Debbie. Let her know the news,” Brian tells them.

 

“Do you want any of us to go outside with you?” Jennifer asks him, like he needs his hand held.

 

“I’m a big boy, Mother Taylor,” he says to her as he bends down to kiss her cheek.

 

Brian goes outside and lets out a shaky breath. He gets out his phone and dials Debbie’s number. It’s 11 o’ clock at night and he knows she has had a rough day but he also knows she will be able to rest much better when she gets the good news.

 

“Hello? Brian? What’s going on?” Debbie answers the phone, not sounding like she is resting at all.

 

“He’s-,” Brian breaks off. Fuck, he thought he could hold back longer.

 

“Brian? Please. Just say it. Oh honey, please tell me what’s going on,” Debbie tells him and he can already hear her starting to cry so he momentarily toughens up and tells her.

 

“He’s going to be okay,” he whispers into the phone.

 

“CARL! SWEETHEART! JUSTIN’S GOING TO BE ALRIGHT!” Debbie screams and laughs. Brian hears her settle down.

 

“Brian, he’s going to be okay! It’s a real miracle, isn’t it?” Debbie tells him.

 

“Y-Yes,” Brian sobs out as he clutches his chest.

 

“Oh, sweetheart. It’s going to be alright! Justin’s okay! Brian, honey...” Debbie consoles him, managing to sound happy and concerned at the same time.

 

“It’s alright, baby. I know how much you love him. I can’t imagine how scared you were. But now you can show him. Show him and tell him how much you love him and how much he means to you. Life’s too short. That’s been proven with him more than once now so don’t you forget about it.”

 

Brian wipes his face and calms down.

 

“I know. I’m going to prove it to him that he’s it for me.”

 

“You better. I love you, kid. I really really do. I love all my boys. You call me if you need to talk.”

 

“You too, Ma.”

 

“I’ll come by in the morning. Try to get some rest when you can, okay? I know you. I know you won’t be leaving there any time soon but you are no use to Justin completely exhausted. Try to at least get some shut eye in the waiting room. See you later. Oh, I am so happy.”

 

“Me too.”

 

Brian hangs up the phone and gives himself a few minutes to calm down. He’s cried more in the last several hours than he has in over a year. After he vows to himself to not break down for at least another three years, Brian goes inside.

 

A nurse comes out to tell them Justin’s room number about 20 minutes after Brian comes back inside. Jennifer gets up but then looks at him for approval.

 

“You’re his mother. Go ahead.”

 

She nods and makes her way through the doors. Mel leaves to check on Lindsay and the kids and to “talk to her.” Brian thinks that he isn’t the only one who was forced to take a close look at his life today. She touches his shoulder before she leaves and says she and Lindsay will bring Gus tomorrow so they can get lunch in the cafeteria. Brian is not looking forward to cafeteria food but he can’t see himself leaving the hospital until Justin is up and talking. It will be nice to see his Sonny Boy.

 

Emmett asks him if he needs anything before he goes. All he really needs is to see Justin. But Emmett tells him he’ll bring Brian some more comfortable clothes and a toothbrush so Brian gives him his keys and Emmett leaves. Ted stays with him and provides a silent gesture of friendship until Jennifer gets back.

 

When Jennifer walks in, Brian can see she’s been crying. But she smiles at Brian through her stress.

 

“He’s hooked to so many machines. It just reminds me of before, you know?”

 

Brian nods and looks past her at the swinging doors.

 

“Go see him, Brian. He’d want you to be there.”

 

Brian stands up and looks down at Jennifer.

 

“You look exhausted. Go home and get some rest. I’ll stay with him tonight.”

 

“Oh, I couldn’t-“

 

“Jennifer, you are no use to him exhausted. Besides, this is early for me. I’ll sleep in a chair in his room.”

 

“They might not let you do that.”

 

“People can be persuaded,” Brian tells her. He’ll make sure he gets the all clear. He won’t back down from that.

 

“Alright. Call me if there’s any trouble, okay?”

 

“I will.”

 

Jennifer gives him one last and surprisingly bone crushing hug and turns to go. Brian is left alone and goes to Justin’s room. And while it does give him a strong sense of déjà vu, he also feels such happiness to see Justin there _alive_. He pulls up the chair, sits next to him and takes his hand. He won’t let it go any time soon.

 

“When you wake up, things are going to be different. You understand? I’m going to be different. You’re it for me, Sunshine. I want you to rest now, okay? I’m going to be here with you every day. I’m going to take you to your appointments and make sure you don’t strain or stress yourself. I’m going to be someone you deserve and I’ll prove it to you.”

 

Brian leans over to kiss Justin's forehead. He had a lot to think about. He had to think about what all he could do so Justin could get better. He had to talk to him about becoming monogamous if Justin took him back. He had to think about Michael and if their relationship could be repaired. Despite everything, he hoped it could. But he needed to focus on Justin first. Justin deserved to be put first. He could plan everything out in the morning. Right now, he needed to rest. So Brian lays his head by their linked hands and the reassuring and beautiful sound of Justin's heart monitor lulls him to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, that's it! Thank you, Lisa for the prompt!

**Author's Note:**

> In all honesty, I think Michael would put their feud behind them if something like this happened but I made him more of an asshole due to the prompt. Please read and review!


End file.
